Friday, May 9, 2008

Drawing With PAPER:MATE Pens

Often I just NEED to draw and it's always so serendipitous as these urges hit me. They are not planned, not researched, not organized ;they are of the instant moment with not time to think or even act except to find anything - and scrap of paper and and pen or pencil to draw with! QUICK! And that's how I produce some expressions in a drawing form these days. I don't mind. I wish I had something more lasting or permanent than a Paper:mate pen but they are easily available and I do use them throughout my day at work. I always have at least one - more often three or four in my pockets as I push through my days.
I'm lucky to be able to just immediately stop what I'm doing and start drawing. I use the three colors of ink : black, blue and red and I just dive, crash course, grind myself along with these pens into the virgin paper below me. It's very primal, very much a necessary thing for me. It's not especially pretty. I'm driven, I'm edged, I'm pained, pressed and pushed both by myself and whatever angels, demons, faeries or whatever are getting into my heart, soul and later brain.
I just start quickly as if I had never stopped before. It's like I had always been drawing : full speed or close to ahead : FORWARD! I march, I splash, I thrash, I gnash-grit my teeth and I prance as if in a ritual dance, like around a fire with bright flames except this time it's just the blinding virgin white of the paper glaring it's defiance and indifference back up at me taunting me with it's lily-white youth and almost saying : You don't dare ?!?! But I do dare !
I take up the dare, the challenge and I'm damned perhaps either way but I know in my heart that if I don't draw that I will personally feel that I've let myself down and I won't do that. No, no, no. I've got to produce. There has to be my product out there / here for better or for worse. For me it is better ; for the rest I cannot say.
Driven I be and driven I will always stay I feel quite sure. Join me. Tag along, let's see what this old boy still has left in him. Cheers, TONY

1 comment:

Lady Prism said...

Precisely how I feel at times! There are moments when you can't quite comprehend where the urge is coming from, and at times when the ebb waves low. Nevertheless, the inspiration never leaves.

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