I've made a miraculous recovery from last night : I've recovered my energy I thought had been permanently zapped from me. I'm thrilled. I'm still bleary-eyed having emerged from a really hot bath that tends to settle and warm me as I collect all my mental belongings and have them sort themselves out in me. It's an on-going project that works differently at various times and results in many surprises and nods of approval and smiles of things that ring true and tuggings on my guts and genitals that push me into my cave man status. I like what I experience and learn something each and every time. I'm always enlightened somehow / relieved, in disbelief, in awe, in rapture, in less agony and less fear. It's both cathartic and euphoric, I'm re;eased somehow from my terror and my doubts, allowed to surface for air and more meaningful contacts. I often wonder how I touch others with what I perceive to be simpler/outright/undisguised honesty ? Do I touch anyone at all ?
It's okay as I mostly have to do what I do for myself to give myself some space and some peace from racking my brain and doubting my efforts and not trusting in my wanting/striving to succeed. What do I want in all of this ? Am I able to visualize clearly, to see things I want in crystal clear, amplified, magnified Kodak 3-D ?!?! I think so. I'm sorting through and turning out, myself included so that I can focus more intently on what it is exactly / what I see exactly of what I want / want to be / will soon-eventually be. How precise are my visions of these things? How much have I been able to label and narrow and focus clearly with will and resolve and firm determination on ? It takes constant focus. I have to get these wants/ desires of mine written and studied and worked continuously on STARTING NOW! Starting yesterday, never any time to lose - especially just now when I feel more alive and aware artistically than any other time - ever - in my life. I feel good! TONY
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment