This Uncle Tony now feels very much in the dark in plain daylight. It's hard, I am off and here at home and not at the hospital with Uncle Robert, Sis, Deborah, Mathew, Holly and the others. It's tough for me, but really tough for you. Deciding to pull the plug on all life-support systems is agonizing and so real, of-the-moment and crushing I would think. I have never had to do that so I can only imagine. Anyway, my thoughts as well as us other Quinns here on the East Coast are with you. We had no idea that things had gotten so bad over the last four days. ... ...
... ...
It's finally sunny here in northern Virginia on my day off. I just took our daughter's cat Louie outside because Louie likes to be outside, and it was finally sunny and nice even though it's cold and breezy still. Feels, felt good to the both of us and I did not hear the last call from Uncle Robert and that's too bad. I have been thinking that this would have been the kind of weather that might be perfect for Uncle MIke to be on the water as he liked to use both his kayak and his canoe? Hard to say, the breeze might have been bad? I do not know? Anyway, the clearness and the brightness of the day would have been good for better visibility and the ability to maneuver better? Yes, that's right. ...
... /// ...
I have always thought of Uncle Mike with one foot in the water and one foot in the canoe or the kayak, or perhaps one foot in the kayak or the canoe and one foot on land. I believe this to be true even today after all the magnificent times that he and his Arkansas teammates have competed for the honor and the glory of their team, of Little Rock, of Arkansas, of the United States. I do not have all the details, my memory is sketchy and selective at best. But I do have " the feeling ". the energy, the conviction, the emotion, and the job of " the stories " that Uncle Mike always uses/used when speaking of these precious times in his life that were as enriching and vital and important as they were hard and physically brutal and unkind/uncaring on his body. ///// ...
... ... ///// His soul may have been elevated to lofty realms but his physical body was also ravaged unmercifully with these endeavors of his and his teammates as they navigated the course and might and power and brutal thrust forward of the streams of water that carried them along these narrow, uneven, unsure, rocked and jagged and dipping and swirling and thunderous routes in rivers and waterways. Wow, it must have been something to watch and witness, it must have been even more something to have been witnessing the confines of either canoe or kayak rushing along, somewhat powerless to the even greater force and power of Nature?!? /// ... ... ... ... ///
I feel very bad now as both my my wife and my two children , here with me on the East Coast are also hoping and praying for our Uncle Mike, that he will pull through as he often did as he canoed or kayaked. The not knowing is tough. The not being there is together. The not being able to do anything is the very toughest. The waiting is also very difficult, too. That's what we all are doing now : sending positive vibes to Uncle Mike, hoping he pulls through yet again. None of us want to give him up. None of us want to see him go. It's not easy, never is. No matter how many times you have to go through this, it never gets easier. /// ///
" He's gone . well, I'm glad it was fast, well, so sad, so sad ... " my wife, home, just said to our niece. He led a good life, really, he would not have wanted to suffer. My wife's last conversation with Uncle Mike recently was really good. he sounded like his own self, complaining about the chores that were expected of him. ... ... /// " He's gone ". .... It's now 2:59PM. Bye Uncle Mike, we love you, always have , always will. Cheers. It's a good day for kayaking and canoeing, have a great ride .... TONY ... ///
/// ...
It's now 10:52PM as I get a chance to finish this for the night about Uncle Mike. My wife, daughter and I reminisced about you Uncle Mike over dinner earlier. That was nice. That was important. It was helpful : we needed being together, talking, expressing some of our emotions now. We shared some good stories about you. I am grateful to have had this opportunity because our hearts are all heavy with grief, sadness over your quick passing that was a blessing for you Uncle Mike. ... /// ...
A little while ago my wife and I watched one of our favorite shows : " The Voice " on t.v. with the final twelve finalists. What a show it was : so much exceptional and raw talent : so many incredible voices and storytellers : just like you Uncle Mike, these young singers as " larger than life ". And the act that caught my attention the most was when the Swan Brothers sang their song, a tribute to George Jones with his song that he wrote and sang when alive. George has just recently passed away, too Uncle Mike. I do not remember the name of the song that the Swan Brothers sang so beautifully of his, but some of the lyrics in the song that spoke to me immediately were : " Who's going to fill their shoes ... the Okie from Miskogie ?!? ... ". I said just before they finished singing to my wife : this song's for Uncle Mike. ... /// ...
The Swan Brothers were talking to both George and to you Uncle Mike, to us that all love you Uncle Mike, and to so many others, too. Thank you two Swan Brothers, you have sang the perfect song for me, Uncle Tony to remember you by Uncle Mike. You may not have been a singer like Johnny Cash that George was speaking about : but to us all that knew you Uncle Mike, with your great story-telling, who will fill your shoes and continue to delight us with such grand stories, big and small, a smile as broad as your whole face, a twinkle in your eyes as bright as the brightest of stars?!? Cheers to you Uncle Mike, you are already missed. It's been an honor knowing you. ... It's now Monday night at 11:15PM as I post this. I am happy to have had a chance to think of you Uncle Mike and to find some words to describe my feelings and you, too ... and to also gain some perspective and peace, too as your passing is sudden and you were way too young to have been taken from us. TONY
... ...
It's finally sunny here in northern Virginia on my day off. I just took our daughter's cat Louie outside because Louie likes to be outside, and it was finally sunny and nice even though it's cold and breezy still. Feels, felt good to the both of us and I did not hear the last call from Uncle Robert and that's too bad. I have been thinking that this would have been the kind of weather that might be perfect for Uncle MIke to be on the water as he liked to use both his kayak and his canoe? Hard to say, the breeze might have been bad? I do not know? Anyway, the clearness and the brightness of the day would have been good for better visibility and the ability to maneuver better? Yes, that's right. ...
... /// ...
I have always thought of Uncle Mike with one foot in the water and one foot in the canoe or the kayak, or perhaps one foot in the kayak or the canoe and one foot on land. I believe this to be true even today after all the magnificent times that he and his Arkansas teammates have competed for the honor and the glory of their team, of Little Rock, of Arkansas, of the United States. I do not have all the details, my memory is sketchy and selective at best. But I do have " the feeling ". the energy, the conviction, the emotion, and the job of " the stories " that Uncle Mike always uses/used when speaking of these precious times in his life that were as enriching and vital and important as they were hard and physically brutal and unkind/uncaring on his body. ///// ...
... ... ///// His soul may have been elevated to lofty realms but his physical body was also ravaged unmercifully with these endeavors of his and his teammates as they navigated the course and might and power and brutal thrust forward of the streams of water that carried them along these narrow, uneven, unsure, rocked and jagged and dipping and swirling and thunderous routes in rivers and waterways. Wow, it must have been something to watch and witness, it must have been even more something to have been witnessing the confines of either canoe or kayak rushing along, somewhat powerless to the even greater force and power of Nature?!? /// ... ... ... ... ///
I feel very bad now as both my my wife and my two children , here with me on the East Coast are also hoping and praying for our Uncle Mike, that he will pull through as he often did as he canoed or kayaked. The not knowing is tough. The not being there is together. The not being able to do anything is the very toughest. The waiting is also very difficult, too. That's what we all are doing now : sending positive vibes to Uncle Mike, hoping he pulls through yet again. None of us want to give him up. None of us want to see him go. It's not easy, never is. No matter how many times you have to go through this, it never gets easier. /// ///
" He's gone . well, I'm glad it was fast, well, so sad, so sad ... " my wife, home, just said to our niece. He led a good life, really, he would not have wanted to suffer. My wife's last conversation with Uncle Mike recently was really good. he sounded like his own self, complaining about the chores that were expected of him. ... ... /// " He's gone ". .... It's now 2:59PM. Bye Uncle Mike, we love you, always have , always will. Cheers. It's a good day for kayaking and canoeing, have a great ride .... TONY ... ///
/// ...
It's now 10:52PM as I get a chance to finish this for the night about Uncle Mike. My wife, daughter and I reminisced about you Uncle Mike over dinner earlier. That was nice. That was important. It was helpful : we needed being together, talking, expressing some of our emotions now. We shared some good stories about you. I am grateful to have had this opportunity because our hearts are all heavy with grief, sadness over your quick passing that was a blessing for you Uncle Mike. ... /// ...
A little while ago my wife and I watched one of our favorite shows : " The Voice " on t.v. with the final twelve finalists. What a show it was : so much exceptional and raw talent : so many incredible voices and storytellers : just like you Uncle Mike, these young singers as " larger than life ". And the act that caught my attention the most was when the Swan Brothers sang their song, a tribute to George Jones with his song that he wrote and sang when alive. George has just recently passed away, too Uncle Mike. I do not remember the name of the song that the Swan Brothers sang so beautifully of his, but some of the lyrics in the song that spoke to me immediately were : " Who's going to fill their shoes ... the Okie from Miskogie ?!? ... ". I said just before they finished singing to my wife : this song's for Uncle Mike. ... /// ...
The Swan Brothers were talking to both George and to you Uncle Mike, to us that all love you Uncle Mike, and to so many others, too. Thank you two Swan Brothers, you have sang the perfect song for me, Uncle Tony to remember you by Uncle Mike. You may not have been a singer like Johnny Cash that George was speaking about : but to us all that knew you Uncle Mike, with your great story-telling, who will fill your shoes and continue to delight us with such grand stories, big and small, a smile as broad as your whole face, a twinkle in your eyes as bright as the brightest of stars?!? Cheers to you Uncle Mike, you are already missed. It's been an honor knowing you. ... It's now Monday night at 11:15PM as I post this. I am happy to have had a chance to think of you Uncle Mike and to find some words to describe my feelings and you, too ... and to also gain some perspective and peace, too as your passing is sudden and you were way too young to have been taken from us. TONY
